POST 7

We learnt about Computer Mediated Communications(CMC) in class recently and i recalled reading in the papers recently about a girl who committed suicide over someone she met over the internet. I could not really remember the details so i googled and i found this article instead. I am not sure if it is the same one cause they said it was in 2006, but they talk about and raise the same issue. You can read the article here.

In short, the whole story is about how Megan Meier met a cute boy named Josh on Myspace and they started building a friendship from there. After a period of time, this 'Josh' started to send her emails or post messages online that insulted her. However, unknown to her Josh was actually a neighbour, an adult at that. Prior to this, Megan was already taking medicine for her depression and low self-esteem problems, if i am not wrong.

Here we see that CMC has caused a shift even in the most simple basis of self. This is due to the face that there people are able to create a whole new personality for themselves. A different name, face, GENDER, hobbies etc. There is no way for sure to really tell them apart and to ensure that the person you talk to online, really is the real person themself. I am sure there are many other cases such as these, but I am rather lazy to google it.

The scary part is that there is no way that we can eradicate CMC from our lives. It has really infiltrated many aspects of life and way of life. If one day the internet collapses, the world will really go bonkers. It is so ironic. It does bad, yet we cannot let it go or to be less reliant on it.

There are many avenues to CMC but i think the internet is the most powerful yet destructive tool. We need it to manage relationships, skype and msn are the major communication mediums i use to contact friends and family overseas. It helps us to keep each other in check and to fill each other in here and there that both of us are not that clueless when they come back and we can pick up where we left off more easily. As for me, I need the computer on some sunday mornings if I wake up in time to catch sermons from city harvest's live telecast. I also need it to check my ublearns, student portal and email. But then there is also the consequences of it, like Megan Meier's.

But then communication over these mediums are really impersonal and half the time I do not see the other person face to face. At some times there miscommunications and horrible ones at that and it is all just words and no real emotions being portrayed. Also the issue of spam and advertisement pop-ups annoy me and some of which are inappropriate content for the under 18s.

It is too general to say this, but sometimes i feel that some people dig their own grave by being so open on the internet. Releasing private information, letting their guard down with "strangers" leading to the unfortunate incidents that happen next. I do know that some people seek self assurance online where photos of themselves looking slim and with double chin neatly hidden are posted whereas the unglamarous ones are just tucked away in some folder in the computer. This all leads back to the abuse of the fact that the internet and other CMC avenues hide your real identity.

I guess this is the last post. I will miss you somewhat, weallneedtofu.

POST 6

Time is running out and this comms blog is due soon. Time orientation really influences behavioural patterns. For the past few months, since this sem started, there sometimes isnt a clear break between work and personal time. Often, I have to rush home after dinner or youth service to finish up projects or assignments, while my other friends leisurely head to the nearest starbucks or their latest craze, KTV joints. Haha disclaimer, I have not been there before. And why? SIGH. My friends have already coined me the "MIA" queen and I really feel guilty. One of my friend came back from Aussie for term break. We have not had quality catch ups yet and shes already packing up to leave for aussie this weekend. I guess thats the culture that i've got to get used to, especially now in UB where every single assignment counts into the final grade.

Getting into blogpost proper, there was an article recently in the Straits Times about China welcoming the first Japanese Battleship in enter their waters since the end of WWII. As I read it, I thought it would make up a very interesting post.

Ever since the Japanese invaded China till the end of WWII, there has been a notion of a strained bilateral relationship between the two countries. This is not just political, but rather prevalent in the society as well. Certain prejudices and stereotypes that one has for the other has not changed since the end of WWII. The chinese still have a negative view of the Japanese. For example sometimes when i watch dramas online, my mum will comment and say "dont you dare marry a Japanese. Don't forget what they did to Singapore". Ok firstly, I dont think a Japanese will marry me and secondly, let it go already. Perhaps cause she was one of the few born after the post war baby boom and her parents have inbuilt it right into her head that Japanese = bad.

As for the article i mentioned earlier, that can be read at http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/afp/080624/world/china_japan_military_diplomacy_2. It is not appropriate for me to dwelve into the political aspect of things, though i must state here that it is getting better between the two countries. because what do i know and i do not wish to get into trouble for anything, this being a public space. I believe that the hardest factor to overcome now is for both societies to accept each other with open arms. There was mixed reactions with the battleship visiting China, some were bitter, some were harsh and some were more accepting. But in the end, all the underlying messages and tones did bring up the fact that the Chinese still remember the actions of the Japanese during the war.

It definitely will be hard for intercultural comunication. THey have to get over all the attitudinal barriers of stereotyping and prejudices that have been "passed down" the generations. There will most probably be a culture shock for both parties but i think the hardest barrier to overcome will be ethnocentrism. There is this constant vying for power or a competition to see who is stronger and it can be seen in the article with some of the Chinese they interviewed saying, and i quote, "Originally Japan had money and they bullied us, but now we've developed so much that even if they wanted to bully us, they couldn't" and "China is more powerful now. Japan is very small so we're not afraid of them".

I do not know much on the Japanese view, but I do know that they too are not very happy with the Chinese over what happened in Tibet. When the Olympic torch was passed to Tokyo, security levels were high, but still there were protest - egg throwing and all.

It may prove to be a challenge to finally have everyone acceptable to each other but I think overtime and once the generations who have been through the war have passed on(really very sorry for the bluntness of it but lack of a better word!) I believe that Japan and China's ties will slowly but surely be reconciled.

Post 5

It has been a while since I posted. I know it is not a valid reason but projects and other assignments were really stretching me end on end.

This post will be on group communication. If a group is "a collection of individuals who, as a result of interacting with one another over time, become interdependent, developing shared patterns of behaviour and a collective identity" - Trenholm(2004), then I believe that a family is a kind of a group as well. Being a family, there will tend to be friction and sometimes different values. It may be an oversimplification but I think in the end, there still is a strong sense of interedependence, interaction and being known as a collective identity.

In post 3 I mentioned the serial japanese drama Yamada Taro Monogatari and I will be using this drama today again for this post. In the drama, the main actor is Ninomiya Kazunari, who acts as Yamada Taro. Being born in a poor family and with his father being a freelance artist and mother being too 'sickly' to work, he is left to look after the family and taking up the position as 'man of the house'.

The way the family operates may be a little bit too much of a fairytale, but could be a true portrayal of the bond of poor families. But I'm not touching on that for this post. There are many instances in the whole drama(though i have not completed watching it), that portrays the theories of group communication.

Firstly the family has their own version of the ten commandments, but they sized it down to about 3 of them that they recite everytime before they tuck into their humble dinner of rice and miso soup. It is mostly related to money like how they should not borrow money cause they are not able to return it, or if they see a 1 yen coin on the ground, they should pick it up, smile and be thankful. Throughout the series - till where i stopped - it showed the strong stand taken by the family in committing to the family commandments. This is all somewhat part of Groupthink, where they are a 'cohesive' in group and how they are closed up to other ideas that could well be a better option to take. For instance when Taro's character was asked by his teacher to go on to University due to his excellent grades, he bluntly refused as he could not afford it. The teacher then persuaded him by saying he could take up a student loan first, but then he said that one of the mottos in his life is never to borrow money and leaving the argument as that. Also the series showed various snippets of the family members picking up a 1 yen coin and smiling while saying 'lucky', though to many, they would not bother.

There are also a few groupthink symptoms in this series. This was the part where the family was asked to help a very rich friend to look after her house for her. The family was welcomed to stay at the house and everything else will be taken care of, meals to clothes. Taro did not really agree to it at the beginning, but he remained silent as the rest of his 6 much younger siblings really wanted to see and feel what it was like living in a mansion. Hence in a sense, he actually gave up own his own feelings and values to agree with the rest of ther family, denying his own individual needs and wants so that the groups needs and wants are met. Here, the illusion of unanimity appears. While everyone else in the family assumed he was fine with it, but in fact he was feeling rather depressed and "emo" about it as the family was not as close as it used to be.

Another long post, sorry. But on a more random note, this sem is going to end soon. so during the 2-3 weeks break, do catch the drama on mysoju.com, it's really a nice slice-of-life kind of slow paced drama. MY PICK! also the main is cute :]

Post 4

I have not been watching much tv recently and it's rather hard to talk and reflect interpersonal communication from media texts so I thought this week I will do a self reflection article based on my own experience. This is also largely due to the fact i have not been watching much tv nowadays so i cannot really think of any. This is quite a dangerous move and I hope I don't come across as a bad person to befriend as I will really talk about my takes on friendship and the various cause&effect actions taken.



I for one really really agree with the contemporary definition of interpersonal comm, establishing a relationship with someone else to edify our own social needs and personal goals. At first I was thinking, personal goals like climbing the corporate ladder? Or to use others to ensure success? But as I pondered over it, I realised that it can also be something simple as emotional needs. It is a lie if someone says they do not need to satisfy a certain level of emotional needs. Sometimes the reason why I 'bother'(in lack of a better word) to really establish a connection and relationship with another person is because I see the other as a person I know I can trust and rely on. In a way that fulfills my own personal goal of establishing trust and "confimation" before I pour my heart into the relationship that will satisfy my emotional needs. I know I might sound so paranoid and insecure but I THINK that most of us do this unconsciously when really forming close and tight friendships.



It is true that physical appearance plays the biggest role in determining the initial stages of the relationship. During orientation I was scanning around the theatre for people who looked pleasant, friendly and to sit beside. Someone who looks friendly and 'open' enough to strike a conversation with. I have this insecurity around good-looking people, in fear they will go like "omg, why are you sitting beside me?" maybe cause of past bad experiences, so I tend not to go up to them to initiate conversations. This is just perception on my part. No offense to good-looking people out there. But this is generally for initial mass gathering situations, once I open up to the surroundings and I more or less get comfortable with the people around me I try to establish some sort of connection with the people around me.

As time goes by do look for similarities with a person, like values, social preferences(for example I'm not really into the whole nightlife scene) before opening up the more personal and private part of my life, taking the relationship, or friendship for that matter, deeper. I have this friend in JC and she was the first non-secondary sch friend I made in class. As we started to get to know each other more I realised we had quite a lot in common, in religion, values, music and other things in general. Though we did have quite a lot of differences as well, it was more of complements to each other, like she was more disciplined whereas I was more about having 'a moment of fun'. So especially in JC context, she pulled me down back to reality that A's were indeed a few months away. I think without her i really would have flunked my A levels, even though i didnt do that well but it helped. But due to the similarities, we really stuck together during the whole two years and we were each others confidantes, even until now we still are and we still meet up. This is not to say that there are no differences that causes friction here and there, but as the relationship grew and deepened we kind of overlook all these kind of small knick knacks and concentrated less on the flaws of each other. I think thats what happens after the friendship has matured past a certain level.

Lastly i also have come across friend where the relationship just dissolves. During first 3 months(the temporary tertiary period before O level results are released) i had this friend and it was a blast when i just got to know her. She was funny and always cracking some wise comment. But after a while I began to see a lot of her flaws and I could not really cope with it in the sense cause it occured a lot of times and I saw it all at one shot. Like how she could not manage her money well and had to borrow all the time and she never fails to not return the money. And she kind of likes to make use of people. She will throw a tantrum and play the reverse psychology game to ensure she gets her way and I always give in. It got to a point of stagnation but after awhile it really tired me down and I got less and less excited whenever there was a gathering and she was going to be there. In the end I withdrew myself from the friendship and i sealed the channels of communication. After awhile it reached stage 10, of termination. I guess the intensity of the first three months causes relationships to skip the steps and hence the the filtering does not happen until its about too late to end it without the awkwardness.

Communication is really one wide subject and every single theory can be applied to real life happenings. It is really different from the the education system I've been under for the past 19 years of my life.

POST 3

This week in class, we have been talking about non verbal cues. Just the other day my friend and I had a little disagreement in regard to our youth group's bulletin. Everyone else was fine with it, but she was trying to push for a change in fonts. Even though she said 'it's ok, let's just go print it', the tone of a voice made it obvious she really was not happy about it because she said it softly and she looked away after that. This is linked to paralinguistics and osculesics. After having comms class then i realised that there were indeed theories behind that, and not just because I know her inside out that's why I could figure out her true feelings when the rest did not really notice.

Recently I have been watching a serial called Yamada Taro Monogatari and in it, something caught my attention to do for this comms blog. I think for those who want to view it might have to download veoh tv to watch it. http://www.veoh.com/videos/v812039sHFY6R3S

At 45:30, the scene started outside the Principal's office and the sound of porcelain/glass shaking. Turns out that this guy was "talking down" on the teacher and she being scared, was trembling with a cup in her hand. She just sat there looking straight, not daring to look at him. This, I learnt was a type of non verbal cue, Kinesics and under the category of affect display. This lets the observer, like me sense her anxiety and nervousness she has around that guy who is her senior. This is shown throughout the rest of the series, i think, because I have not finished it yet.

But through all these i never knew that we really rely a lot on non verbal cues to interpret how other people feel and what they really mean when they say something.

By the way, sorry for the format the post is in. I think it is due to the comic I posted so no matter how I tried to space and paragraph it around, it did not work out. I'm a html noob, so pardon me. If the comic is too small to be seen, this is the url. http://www.gocomics.com/foxtrot/2008/05/25/

Post 2

Every week I log onto blogger and I seriously crack my head trying to think of a media text to use. This time round I will use a comic that should be quite familiar to all of us, especially if we read The Straits Times.

The comic, Foxtrot, is about a typical American family and as I was flipping through the papers I realised how unconsciously, I was influenced by these societal stereotypes.

This week I will only focus on one of the characters, the younger brother, Jason. He is the clever, studious, "nerdy" one. For those who are not familiar with the comic strip, I believe it is not hard to guess that he is as described above.

Firstly due to the spectacles that seem to be so thick that we cannot see his eyes gives us the impression of a bookworm. Secondly, in the last picture, there pasted on his wall are tests that have grades of A+++++ and other A pluses. Thirdly, the fact that his friend and him were talking about George Lucas and Steven Spielberg that produce the rather "geek-flick" genre of movies such as Star Wars, Jurassic Park, E.T, just to name a few.

With all these types of stereotyping and prototypes gathered from either personal experience or from other media texts aided with verbal and non-verbal cues, we start to interpret it subconsciously, ending up with a closure that he is the nerd/genius in the family.

After learning more about the theory of communication, there is actually so many theories behind the things we think are common-sensical. It kind of irritates me that I am starting to evaluate things such as comics, but none-the-less, it makes me feel a tad bit more intellectual.

post 1

The China Earthquake measuring 7.8 on the Ritcher Scale, sent shockwaves across the world. I honestly had a shock that the Earthquake of such magnitude happened and of all times occuring slightly more than a week after Cyclone Nargis. Watching the news on tvmobile or on Channel News Asia just portrayed a very grim outlook of death and towards the hope of finding survivors under the rubble. But in The Sunday Times, World section, the article heading, "I had to save myself" really caught my attention. After being trapped under the debris and rubble for about 100 hours, Mr Peng Zhijun was rescued on Friday, still conscious with a sober state of mind, that to me is a miracle.

Firstly, his determination and will to live really touched me. From the point of the Earthquake to his rescue, he made the decision to stay alive, no matter what. His 'never say die' attitude is so prominent and overwhelming. He searched for 'potential food-sources' which ended up being cigarettes and a few paper napkins and drinking his own urine from his shoe just to ensure survival.

Secondly, that he could even manage a 'twist' for the cameras despite all that he has been through is so impressive and something that we should all emulate. And no, I do not mean to be trapped under rubble for 5 days just so that we can pose for the camera, but the spirit of positivity and of hope.

To still be able to think of the best of things despite his dire situation makes me feel guilty of all the complaints listed in my mental list whilst sitting on my bed typing away on the laptop in an air conditioned room. If I were in his shoes, I would have lost all hope and desire to live. Seeing his attitude towards this whole ordeal has taught me, or rather changed my attitude towards all the smaller problems in life, be it quarrels with parents, squabbles with friends or that I cannot seem to raise my GPA to a 3.6. It all boils down to the attitude we adopt. With a stinking attitude nothing can be accomplished. But with one of perserverance, desire and hope, things can be achieved, even in the worst of circumstances.